Garofalo Pasta: Whatever They’re Selling, It’s All Maccherone
November 11, 2013 6 Comments
Following the unbelievably stupid gaffe and resulting public-relations disaster (here and here) created last September by Guido Barilla, CEO of the Barilla Pasta company, tens of thousands of people went looking for another brand of decent pasta (and no, in case you were wondering, not one American manufacturer can lay claim to that description).
Some of them no doubt landed on the site of the “Pastificio Lucio Garofalo,” which sells its products via internet as well as through Amazon.com.
Our hope is that those who did took one look at the ridiculous English-language translation of Garofalo’s site and adopted the Inferno Solution (that is, “Let us not speak of them: look, and pass on”).
Before we passed on to the next manufacturer, however, we couldn’t help but take a few samples of Garofalo’s Mèd Een Eetaly Inglisc.
Read a few paragraphs of this and you’ll be convinced, as we are, that Garofalo’s only product is maccherone.
Let’s start with Massimo Menna’s heartfelt, um, declaration of his passione for Garofalo’s “Gente del Fud” project. (I’m sure that’s a misspelling. They probably meant Fudd. As in Elmer Fudd.)
We’re also quite fond of this, which we think explains why Naples has suffered so badly from earthquakes over the course of the centuries. Someone really should tell them to stop thatching their roofs with pasta!
But this isn’t bad either, as Garofalo explains how they look for “balance and taste … in front of a pasta dish.” Evidently, Garofalo translates like it eats:
Garofalo Pasta. Quality in absolutely everything. Of course, we still use cut-rate, inexpert, non-native translators. Because that’s just how our artisanal intelligence rolls, bitches.