The Gallery of Wrongness – Page 19: “The Responsible for Producing Granular”
The La Pedicara Quarry (“pedicara” means “I wrote this with my feet” in Italian) in Balvano, Italy, committed this atrocity, no doubt in an effort to bring the Made In Italy (or the “Mèd Een Eetaly,” as we would say it) to the entire world.
Kudos to Giuseppe Croce who “realized” this site, and to La Pedicara’s President, Gerardo Santagata, who, “after several years of work can buy all the quarry” but evidently could not buy a decent translator.
Mr. Santagata evidently did have enough for a sex change, however. Notice that he has become “her” a sentence later.
The only mercy of the La Pedicara Quarry’s website is that not much of it actually appears in “Inglisc” yet — all of its internal pages remain in Italian. In other words, there’s a job here for some enterprising young Italian who doesn’t actually understand a word of English but knows how to type gee oh gee gee ell ee tee ar ey enn ess ell ey tee ee into a search engine.
Now, those with a scientific bent will also appreciate this detail:
It’s been a long time since I was in a basic biology class, but it seems to me that there’s a step or two missing here.
Yes, magnesium oxide is required for photosynthesis, which is why it’s an important component of fertilizers: it’s significant to soil nutrition.
But here’s where brevity becomes the soul of (nit)wit. La Pedicara doesn’t actually have anything to do with photosynthesis; La Pedicara produces a compound useful as a fertilizer ingredient. Well-fertilized plants are able to photosynthesize, and photosynthesis turns out to be fairly indispensable to agriculture.
But maybe La Pedicara’s “writers” actually thought that would be a selling point. Yeah! I support photosynthesis! Ship over a couple tons of MgO, guys. I’m gonna make me some oxygen!